I Don’t Know How Much Vodka I Put In This But I’m Going To Drink It Anyways: a memoir
ah, yes. after a 13 hour flight to the states, i can finally watch the youtube video that wasn’t available in my own country
Why do dudes always wanna know your bra size tho, what are they gonna do, buy you bras?? Cause that would be very helpful bras cost a lot of money i would save a fortune
it’s weird how yogurt is almost exclusively advertised to women
let the men develop weak bones
Unsure of how to confess your love to someone? Try this:
- Acquire several dozen limes.
- Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
- Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
- Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
- Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
- Look them deeply in the eyes and say, “Sorry. I’m bad at Pickup Limes.”
- Marry them.
Does anyone else lie in bed at 2:30am filled with the crippling fear that they’re never going to accomplish anything in life and fail miserably or is that just me
Reasons To Be Happy:
- Dead trees still stand and so can you.
- You have five fingers on each hand. One day those fingers will travel from your lap to someone else’s and that person will know all the bad stuff and still want to kiss you.
- Seasons are guaranteed when nothing else seems to be.